This story appears in ESPN The Magazines Oct. 17 Great Debates Issue. Subscribe today!THERE IS MORE than just a debate point here for female athletes; there is a double standard.When Ronda Rousey wouldnt touch gloves with Holly Holm before their fight last November, people absolutely crushed her for it, even though male UFC fighters -- Dominick Cruz, Anderson Silva, Nate Diaz, Conor McGregor (to name just a few) -- dont always touch gloves. In Rio, Gabby Douglas appeared disappointed (gasp!) that she narrowly missed the chance to defend her gymnastics all-around title. Social media critics came down on her hard for showing her desire to compete, an athletic virtue thats as revered as the Games themselves.With this as a baseline, when someone is as outspoken as Hope Solo -- who was taken to task for her blunt criticisms well before her recent legal trouble -- it stands out.The dilemma female athletes face is that those who stay in the safe, wholesome lane are labeled boring and cited as a reason womens sports arent as popular as mens. So how can a female athlete be compelling without also being viewed as controversial?I emailed a group of phenomenal female athletes -- and one legendary womens coach -- to pose those questions. Here is an edited version of our reply-all thread.ROUNDTABLE PARTICIPANTSRamona Shelburne ESPN senior writer and former Stanford softball playerGeno Auriemma UConn womens basketball coachLashinda Demus 2012 Olympic silver medalist in the 400-meter hurdlesStacey Nuveman Deniz Olympic softball playerJulie Foudy U.S. soccer legend and ESPN commentatorNatasha Watley Olympic softball playerCat Zingano UFC bantamweight fighterRAMONA SHELBURNE: Why cant women just own their feelings and be competitive? Why cant we be pissed off or visibly disappointed when we lose or dont see our name in the lineup?JULIE FOUDY: Some of it is the expectation -- That is what a nice girl does -- but I also think we women are still hesitant to own our awesome. It isnt literally wearing an I Am Awesome T-shirt or walking around saying how awesome you are. There is hubris and there is confidence. No one likes, in any gender, overconfident a--holes. We women, present company included, are terrible at owning our awesomeness. I feel like into my 40s I am finally just getting there.STACEY NUVEMAN DENIZ: Im not sure the concept or expectation of successful females -- athletes, politicians or any woman in a public space -- is to be nice. I think the expectation is to be humble. Humility might be the most revered quality of any female with any amount of accomplishment. I think back to the times I was complimented for being humble and the pride I felt for being characterized that way. I was an accomplished athlete, and downplaying my success -- the polar opposite of owning my awesome -- was my greatest attribute.NATASHA WATLEY: I can remember losing in the gold medal game [to Japan] at the 2008 Olympics, returning home and having everyone say, You should be proud of your silver medal, not many people get to compete in the Olympics. I get it. What else could they say? But I really wanted to say, F you! We didnt prepare for endless months to win a silver medal. Its like as a female athlete its not supposed to be in our nature to be pissed at losing.LaSHINDA DEMUS: Im extremely competitive but never show it. Ive been constantly told that I need to try to focus on hitting a certain demographic of women, not men. But most of these women I was told to try to reach actually cared nothing about my athletic capabilities because they cant connect with that, according to both male and female public relations specialists that I spoke with.SHELBURNE: Is it even possible for a female athlete to be real, bold and interesting without being cast in a negative light? Or is going negative still the only way to get attention?FOUDY: Ive heard people say womens sports needs more antiheroes. I couldnt disagree more. We dont need more anti-heroes; we need more women to be the big personalities that live inside them. We need more people promoting those personalities. We dont need more domestic violence incidents, more drunken driving incidents, more negativity. We need women who are willing to be big and bold and show us how being a great teammate/player is indeed newsworthy.GENO AURIEMMA: Why should female athletes be held to the standard that male athletes have set? In order to be compelling, you have to throw a tantrum, commit assault, carry a weapon or get suspended for drug use? Is Tom Brady not compelling? Tim Duncan? Mike Trout? Why do you think the NFL is cracking down on idiotic behavior? Its because it doesnt sell anymore. Why cant women just be great athletes? Leave it at that.CAT ZINGANO: I am constantly being told about the lack of hype I create, although I am one of the most entertaining female fighters to date. There are educated and die-hard fans who love and support the evolution of the sport for women. But it seems that you must also have a story, sex appeal and the ability to stir up drama to retain fans and be paid [well].I was recently told to use my strong points: that I am a single mom, that I have a story, that I can clean up and have sex appeal. I would rather wear sweatpants and throw my hair in a knot! But in order to further my career, I need to work harder, not at my craft but at promoting myself outside of the Octagon. I just want to work hard at my sport. I want my personal achievement and work ethic to speak for me.DEMUS: Competing professionally, especially in a sport that gets glamorized every four years, is difficult. You have a few angles to take as a female track athlete to actually make a living from it. You can be the prettiest little thing out there with not so much talent as the next athlete in hopes of getting the attention of sponsorships, or you can be the Mother Teresa athlete who is politically correct along with a nearly perfect career. Ever since I was a little girl, my goal was to be the best. Thats it. It was not until I became professional that I was told I should focus on my branding and how I appeal to the public.SHELBURNE: Nuvey, you are so funny; people told me they peed their pants during your banquet speech at a Womens College World Series. Do you ever let that humor rip publicly? Did you have the right forum to do so, before social media was so pervasive? I think if you asked most people who they remember from those U.S. Olympic softball teams, it would be Jennie Finch, who was a great pitcher but also indisputably got attention for her beauty. Do you think that would be the same today?NUVEMAN DENIZ: Womens team sports, softball in particular, have a pretty clearly defined audience: families. Softball goes after the daddy-daughter market, and as such, the more wholesome and family-friendly the personality, the better. Jennie shined in the spotlight, with style and grace, and Im proud of how she handled it. Soccer has been the same, historically. The women who were front and center for USA softball and USA soccer during my tenure were phenomenal athletes but also safe personalities who embraced being a role model and did little to tarnish that responsibility.For me personally, I was a Row 2 athlete from a marketing and publicity standpoint: I wasnt front and center, but I wasnt back row either. I didnt have many opportunities to let my humor rip, but when I did, I held back some. I tried to be charming but safe.WATLEY: Its amazing what people focus on. Although Jennie herself is extremely humble (I adore her!), it was completely out of her control how much attention she got for her beauty when she had so many amazing accolades on the field. Im with Coach Auriemma: When will women be praised for just being phenomenal athletes?AURIEMMA: I still contend that we in the womens game should not aspire to be like the men. We should work really hard to keep pointing out why our behavior is more acceptable and long-term more appealing to the next generation of fans.SHELBURNE: Speaking of the next generation, if we reconvene this panel in five or 10 years, what will be different?DEMUS: At times I think things are going backward. Sponsors are showing that less attention is being put into athletic abilities and more into backstories and drama, so women are continuing to find a happy medium between being their true competitive self and who the public wants them to be.I wrote a blog awhile back about when Drake hosted the ESPYS. It was a bit they did with Skylar Diggins and Drake and his love for her being beautiful. Nothing was mentioned about her abilities.Ive seen a glimmer of hope in boxing and mixed martial arts. It seems to be accepted by the masses better, so theyre doing something right over there. One thing that men love and find appealing is aggression. I believe that if women bring that to sports, with women showing their true competitiveness, it will pull in more male viewers.FOUDY: I can tell you what wont be different in five to 10 years time: how much attention is paid to external beauty rather than talent. As much as we find that annoying, its the reality of society, and sadly its not going away. Sure, it also exists on the mens side with a David Beckham or Tom Brady type, but those men dont need looks to be popular, get sponsors and drive page views. It simply enhances the revenue on the mens side, where most women depend on it.What will be different in five to 10 years is the level of support around womens sports from more women being at all levels of media. We need people, women and men, who wake up every single day and their priority every single day is to help grow the womens game. Yes, every single day.NUVEMAN DENIZ: The prospect of a woman in the White House could go a long way to shifting this paradigm. If cultural norms are to be challenged, men and women need to experience females in positions of power and watch them kick ass.The pressures will be tremendous to do it right and do it well for these women, and they will face obstacles and unfair standards and criticisms and resistance, but thats how it goes. Look at any progressive concept in our countrys history and the road map is there for us to see. But the day-to-day, relentless pursuit is how change will happen.ZINGANO: Ronda Rousey was a huge advocate for women in the UFC, and Im grateful to her for many reasons. She makes very good money, but she sacrificed herself to better our opportunities as female fighters trying to capitalize on the highest platform.She also exudes the f--- it, f--- off, f--- them, f--- you, f--- me mentality we all know we think. Yes, some people hate her for it, but its good for women to gauge themselves on, to say, OK, she took that a little far, but she has a point, this taboo topic does need to ?be addressed.I want the freedom to push the limits of whats been achieved in my sport and raise the bar while doing things differently. If I fail while trying to do things differently, oh well. If I succeed at doing things differently?Hell yes. Cheap Jerseys From China . - Blake Griffin had 30 points and 12 rebounds, J. Cheap Custom NFL Jerseys . -- Teemu Selanne scored the first goal of his 22nd NHL season, and the Anaheim Ducks extended the best start in franchise history with their fifth straight victory, 3-2 over the Calgary Flames on Wednesday night. http://www.cheapjerseysfinish.com/ . Walcott is available for Saturdays home match against Southampton as Arsenal looks to extend its two-point lead at the top of the Premier League. The Gunners are currently the second highest scorers in the league but Wenger insists Walcott will add something extra to his team. China NFL Jerseys . -- Edmontons Val Sweeting is two wins away from a trip to Winnipeg to play in Canadas Road of the Rings in December. Wholesale Stitched Jerseys . Mitch Holmberg added a goal and three assists. Connor Chartier also scored for the Chiefs (3-0-0). Luke Harrison spoiled Garrett Hughsons shutout bid with a power-play goal at 13:17 of the third period. The Spokane goaltender finished with 28 saves, including a Brandon Fushimi penalty shot in the second period that would have tied the game 1-1.Siobhan-Marie OConnor is set to continue her fight for a place at the Rio Olympics in the British Swimming Championships. The 20-year-old Sky Academy Sports Scholar is one of GBs rising stars and is in Scotland this week for a crucial event on the swimming calendar that will help determine who will be on the plane to Brazil this summer.OConnor was the youngest in the GB team at the 2012 London Games (100m breaststroke), and she is now looking to conquer again on the biggest international stage after six medals at the 2014 Commonwealth Games, including gold in the 200m individual medley.Get live updates on Siobhan over the weekend on the @SkyScholarships Twitter accountWith the 100m freestyle first up for OConnor in Glasgow, she said: Im really looking forward to racing on Friday. Weve been training hard for this week for a long time and its great that its finally here.Its good to be up here with the Bath Team as well, cheering on my team-mates for the first couple of days.This will be my second Olympic trials and I really hope I can achieve the results I want and that I have worked for. Skys Sportswomen follows Siobhan-Marie OConnor as she fights for her place at the Olympics OConnor, who recently returned from a seven-week training camp to Austtralia, will compete in the 100m Individual Medley on Saturday and will finish the weekend with the 100m breaststroke and butterfly.ddddddddddddThe British swimmers will be nominated for Rio 2016 selection following the trials with the British Olympic Association set to ratify the GB squad later in April. With the Olympic swimming trials taking place this week, we look back at Siobhan-Marie OConnors Masterclass British Swimming head coach Bill Furniss said: This competition is just the next phase of a long and detailed preparation to perform on the day in Rio.After Glasgow we need to refocus on Rio - thats where the competition will be fought and not before. We want our athletes this week to experience pressure, handle pressure and welcome pressure.WHATS COMING UP FOR OUR SCHOLARS...MARCH 19 - May 2: Holly Bradshaw, training in USAAPRIL 12-17: Siobhan-Marie OConnor, British Championships in GlasgowAPRIL: Olivia Breen, training camp in TenerifeMAY 22-30: Sam Oldham, European Championships in Switzerland Also See: About the Scholarship Meet the athletes Blogs Videos Galleries ' ' '