Kickoff Week for the 2016 college football season is nothing less than epic. Peer into our crystal ball as we envision how it might play out.Kickoff Week for the 2016 college football season is nothing less than epic. Peer into our crystal ball as we envision how it might play out.by Ted MillerIllustrations by Greg Kletsel9/3/20167:30 a.m. ETHow about some Irish breakfast in bed?Boston College and Georgia Tech kick off in Dublin, Ireland. So that means one needs a full Irish breakfast: bacon, sausages, eggs, black-and-white pudding and Irish brown bread. Guinness is optional, though it might help you get into the spirit of things. Wonder how that outstanding Boston College defense will look without coordinator Don Brown -- now at Michigan with Jim Harbaugh -- against Paul Johnsons triple-option attack? OK, well have that Guinness. And maybe a Jameson chaser?Noon ETHarbaugh? Harbaugh! HARBAUGH!Upon hearing that Hawaii had traveled nearly 10,000 miles while opening its season against Cal in Australia on Aug. 26, then flying to Ann Arbor for its second game, Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh says in a pregame interview that he flies 10,000 miles everyday. Er, you mean walk 10,000 steps everyday? the reporter asks. No, Harbaugh barks. I just flew 10,000 miles. And, no, my arms arent tired.12:30 p.m. ETHoustons hoping for some posingHouston QB Greg Ward Jr. announces himself as a Heisman Trophy candidate and the Cougars as a potential Group of 5 force with two early touchdown passes against No. 3 Oklahoma. New College Football Playoff selection committee chair Kirby Hocutt calls former chair Jeff Long to see if he wants his old job back.1:15 p.m. ETOkay, not so fast, CougarsAnswering Ward Jr.s Heisman statement, Baker Mayfield leads the Sooners to 21 unanswered points against the Cougars and silences the NRG Stadium crowd. Hocutt lets out a deep breath and decides to have a Guinness.1:35 p.m. ETYour inspiration for the day (month? decade?)Panthers running back James Conner completes his comeback from Hodgkin lymphoma with a 12-yard touchdown run against Villanova. The crowd goes bonkers, and by crowd, we mean every single college football fan in this country.3:25 p.m. ETNo Lambeau Leaps, but Les will love the grass!LSU coach Les Miles samples the grass at Lambeau Field before his Tigers take on Wisconsin. Well, he says. I love the deep, traditional flavor and bouquet of Kentucky bluegrass, but the Desso GrassMaster synthetic reinforcement provides an unpleasant aftertaste.3:35 p.m. ETAnd now for your matchup of the day...Know the classic three-man showdown at the end of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly -- Blondie vs. Angel Eyes vs. Tuco? Thats UCLA QB Josh Rosen vs. Texas A&M defensive ends Myles Garrett and Daeshon Hall. Or is it Rosen vs. Garrett vs. UCLA offensive tackle Conor McDermott? And who gets the winners line: You see in this world theres two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig? That, my friends, is why we watch.5 p.m. ETBreaking: Tiger runs over 11 BadgersLSU running back Leonard Fournette piles up 96 yards by halftime against the Badgers, thereby eclipsing what Wisconsins run defense yielded a season ago per game. New LSU defensive coordinator Dave Aranda, the Badgers 2015 coordinator, tries not to look smug on the sidelines during much of the Tigers blowout victory.5:45 p.m. ETDear remote control, I love youPause for a moment, as you switch your attention from LSU-Wisconsin to UCLA-Texas A&M to North Carolina-Georgia and back again, to wonder how the world functioned before HD TV, the recall button on the remote, screen-within-a-screen, your phone doubling as a TV and giant monitors stacked upon one another. Sure, the wheel, internal combustion engine and telephone were great inventions, but devices that empowered the college football fan are the true signs of an advanced civilization.6:25 p.m. ETSaturday weather in Sumlinville: Hot and humidRosen throws the shovel to Garrett. You dig, he says. Actually, he throws four touchdown passes as the Bruins slip the homesteading Aggies, bringing about two Hot Takes: 1. Rosen is a Heisman Trophy candidate; 2. Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin is our first big-time coach thrust upon the hot seat.7:10 p.m. ETMove along, nothing to see hereWait ? Rhode Island is playing Kansas! Must avert ? eyes.7:45 p.m. ETA-C-C! A-C-C!Breaking news: Kirby Smart isnt Nick Saban. Or, to be more fair, Georgia is not Alabama. With Nick Chubb still not fully Nick Chubb after a 2015 knee injury, and the Bulldogs offensive line unable to take advantage against a questionable North Carolina defensive front seven, the Tar Heels make a statement that the ACC is not just Clemson, Florida State and the 12 dwarfs.8:47 p.m. ETOuch, that glare is going to leave a markLane Kiffin has turned to stone on the Alabama sideline after a glare from Saban -- the Crimson Tide offensive coordinator petrified, his face captured with pursed lips while emitting a Whoops. After 10 consecutive running plays behind a dominant offensive line pushed Alabama to USCs 22-yard line, Kiffin opted to throw into the end zone to Calvin Ridley, but Cooper Batemans pass was intercepted by Adoree Jackson and returned 100 yards for a touchdown.8:50 p.m. ETHmm, what to do, Auburn fans?Jacksons interception return is replayed on the video board at Jordan-Hare Stadium while Auburn and Clemson enjoy a TV timeout. Tigers fans are flummoxed. They feel they should cheer against hated rival Alabama. But can they cheer for USC -- which stomped them in 2003, stole the 2004 national title from them and represents the hated, quinoa-eating, snobby Pac-12 -- against their SEC brethren? A vote is taken, and the general feeling is that it would be best if AT&T Stadium were sucked into the earth and neither program is heard from again.10:50 p.m. ETThe empire strikes back ? againSaban politely requests that AT&T Stadium officials turn off the Darth Vader Imperial March music that played as he entered his postgame news conference after a 35-20 victory over USC. He then quietly hums the tune to his Coke bottle before taking questions.MidnightNeed a thesaurus, asap, pleaseDeshaun Watson throws three touchdown passes and runs for another in a win at Auburn, and you ponder just how many adjectives relating awesomeness will be used to describe the Clemson QB over the course of the season. Or whether Clemson should allow him to don an orange cape during games.12:03 a.m. ETLate night with the Pac-12!Bedtime? Heck no! Pac-12 after dark!2:03 a.m. ETSo. Much. FootballYou stare bleary-eyed into the mirror. Going 20 or so hours with multiple reapplications of face paint has left you looking like a cross between Darth Maul and David Puddy in the 109th episode of Seinfeld. Its indescribably satisfying.7:30 p.m. ETWhat, you thought we were finished?You sleep all day. Not because you want to but because you owe it to college football. One mustnt be any less engrossed in Notre Dames visit to Texas than you were during peak form on Saturday.10:30 p.m. ETBevo, BBQ and Buecheles debutTexas wins! The Longhorns are back! Freshman QB Shane Buechele announces himself as the Next Big Thing, thereby earning the greatest honor Austin, Texas, can bestow: a front-of-the-line pass at Franklin Barbecue.8:10 p.m. ETCome on, pick yourself up off the matYou feel like Rocky getting off the canvas in the 14th round of his first fight with Apollo Creed. You say, It doesnt matter if this college football weekend opens my head. I just want to go the distance.10:56 p.m. ETDown goes the SEC!Florida State rolls over Ole Miss, giving the ACC a 3-0 record against the SEC on this epic opening weekend. The world has turned upside down. Whats next? Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together ? mass hysteria!11 p.m.Thats a wrap, everybodyIts over. Fin. Two words: total exhaustion.11:01 p.m.Or is it?Wait a second ? Louisville at Syracuse, 8 p.m. ET, ESPN2, Friday, Sept. 9. That might be cool.by Ted MillerIllustrations by Greg Kletsel Joao Cancelo Jersey . Coach Mike Munchak says Fokou stretched ligaments in his left knee Oct. 13 against Seattle, which could keep out up to five weeks even though the linebacker didnt need surgery. Emre Can Jersey . -- New England Revolution goalkeeper Matt Reis is retiring after a 16-year career to become the goalie coach for the Los Angeles Galaxy. http://www.juventusfcpro.com/ . The 43-year-old closer, in his 19th and final big league season, has said hed like to play the outfield. Yankees manager Joe Girardi says hes thinking about allowing Rivera to do it this weekend, when the Yankees finish their season with a three-game series at the Houston Astros. Stefano Sturaro Jersey . The quest begins with what is supposed to be an easy one, although Germany has traditionally been a stubborn opponent to Canadian teams at international tournaments. Daniele Rugani Jersey . - Goaltender Philippe Desrosiers of the Rimouski Oceanic has broken a shutout record that was only three months old in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League.Ex-Manchester United defender Gary Pallister hopes a red-hot atmosphere at Old Trafford can help propel his former side to an unlikely Europa League last-16 victory over Liverpool. United were only able to muster one shot target in last weeks first leg at Anfield as goals from Daniel Sturridge and Roberto Firmino saw them lose 2-0, leaving them with a mountain to climb on Thursday night. Daniel Sturridge opened the scoring with a penalty against Man Utd last week But Louis van Gaals side showed character to come back from a goal down to draw 1-1 with West Ham in Sundays FA Cup quarter-final and Pallister says that performance is a timley boost ahead of the game with bitter rivals, Liverpool. We didnt want to go into that game off the back of being knocked out of the FA Cup, Pallister told Sky Sports.Its an uphill task and for sure it is a big ask of the players to overcome a 2-0 deficit but hopefully we can get the kind of atmosphere that we saw at Anfield the other night. Gary Pallister in action for United in the mid-nineties It was a red-hot atmosphere last week and I hope it will be red-hot again on Thursday and Liverpool will feel intimidated by coming to Old Trafford with the crowd in full voice.Hopefully that will work in our favour and we can get an early goal and keep the tie alive because if they score well have to score four goals at least. Former Manchester United captain Bryan Robson says the Manchester derby at the weekend is crucial if they want to finish in the top four We need to make it a difficult place for them to come and play and the tie will really come to life if we can score the first goal.ddddddddddddIts also important that we dont concede but I think the fans will play a big part on Thursday night.A lacklustre campaign for United - currently sixth in the Premier League - has seen goalkeeper David de Gea emerge as one of the clubs best performers this season. Utd club ambassador Pallister won 10 major trophies in nine years at Old Trafford Club ambassador Pallister admitted the Spaniard has been influential this season but says he has also been impressed by Chris Smalling and Daley Blind, as well as some of Uniteds exciting crop of young players.I think Chris Smalling has been outstanding this season, Pallister said.Hes had a couple of injury problems this year but I think we saw again on Sunday that he had a very difficult tussle with Andy Carroll - who is obviously very physical - and we needed someone like Chris to stand up to try and nullify threat. Chris Smalling shackled West Ham striker Andy Carroll at Old Trafford on Sunday The kids have also done really well. Marcus Rashford has had an outstanding start to his United career and I think young Cameron Borthwick-Jackson has grown in stature with every game.I also think Daley Blind has been really good this year. Hes been moved around into a few positions this year but his understanding of the game is top-class.He reads the game so well, hes a terrific footballer and I think he can take a lot of pride in his performances this year.Gary Pallister was speaking at an event launching a global partnership between Manchester United and Gulf Oil International. Also See: Law: United need Rooney back Liverpool to train at Old Trafford LVG failure would harm United Butt hails United youngsters Wholesale Hoodies NFL Shirts Outlet Jerseys NFL Wholesale Cheap NFL Jerseys Free Shipping Wholesale Jerseys Cheap Cheap NFL Jerseys China Wholesale Jerseys Wholesale NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys China Cheap NFL Jerseys ' ' '